After some prompting from a few friends and family, I decided to take the plunge into the seedy world of online dating sites.
Punch in the words ‘dating’, ‘date’, or ‘single’, and you will be hit by plethora of sites all offering confidentiality, a range of fabulous eligible people, and of course, the obvious ‘special’ person you are BOUND to find.
Here’s the reality: you sign up to a few half decent looking sites who immediately want to scalp you for 10 – 20 pounds per month just for the privilege of signing up and slapping your details up in the cattle market. So whilst attempting to dip one’s toe into the sea of singles, you decide to take up their generous offer on a first freebie month, or the pared down ‘free’ test-it-first version which is missing some ‘perks’ but giving you a chance to take a look through those thousands of ‘eligible’ singles.
Round One: The chat up lines
“Hi”
or…
“Hey, you iz cute”
or…
“Msg me, perhaps we can hook up” (he lives 400 miles away)
Always winners.
Round Two: Mr Eligible
‘Eligible’ seems to come in three flavours. There’s ‘Married and looking for a bit on the side’ – obvious connotations. Then there’s ‘Mr sneak and peek’ – they come in, look at your profile, and then wander off again. Then there’s ‘Mr Hit & Run’ – you get a message with simply, ‘Hi’ or a contact request with no message at all, or perhaps even better: “You iz cutez – wanna get jiggy?”. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I kinda figured an opening conversation would be a great ice breaker.
Round Three: Back to the drawing board
After giving it a go for around three months, I’ve cancelled the accounts. I have come to the conclusion that anything to do with dating or getting chatted up on the internet simply won’t work.
I’m going back to basics and to ‘real life’ and taking up a pottery class in the Autumn. Perhaps I’ll meet someone special over the pug machine.
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