Never was

If I undid myself and never was
Who would have never been here too?
If this winding strand of lifeline was lost
At the start, and I had never met you?

How many people have we touched along the way
Whose now stable lives might be astray?
How far the strands of touch and heal
Might not have been to catch you as you fell?

What if I had never been,
Never held, never loved
Never heard, never seen
Never given, never laughed

Would you feel something missing
Could you be the same person?
Have trod the same path of life
Eased without trouble nor strife…

All these steps we take,
Each touch we make
Each thought we share
Each feeling to care

The silken strands of influence
Which bring us here – this confluence
This meeting of spirit, mind and soul
This binding to make us whole

I shall not wish to be undone
These life lines touch each and everyone
And in living, these steps that dance
Have intricately given a second chance

I am always, ever here
Ever loving, ever near
Ever holding, for you my dear
Ever knowing, you, with no fear…

Lucidity

Perception…
a delicate mirror on the face of water
Perfectly still until touched; stirred
And how the ripples pool outwards
As the stone drops, displaces, disturbs

The rings echo the piercing point
Each a slow, painful, recalled, repeat
The impact, sinks deeper, harder
First impressions distorted further

The image once so perfectly set
Shimmers, broken, fractured light
This complete image, now distorted
Blurs clear thought, caught, flawed

Oh how to smooth the once bright silver
Flow of untroubled calm, these waves… linger
Aftershocks of hurt, anger, fear
The muddy depths leave me unclear

Step away from the turbid mere’s edge
Seek insight from inside knowledge
No shining answer comes from the broken surface
Follow only, the stone that fell
In the deepest, lucid still: find solace.

kiss me kate

‘Katherine the Curst’, A title for a maid, of all titles the worst. ~ Taming of the Shrew, William Shakespeare.

Kiss me, Kate…
And let not thy wicked tongue
Hurt me nor do me wrong.
Oh – should it be that plain and easy?
That clear cut, or clear to see?

No Elizabethan gynophobic diatribe
On taming spirit through courteous jibe
Would err right upon this woman’s side
Her thought and feeling still denied

And should it all appear so clear
Served up on a platter, without fear
Made plain to see and feel and hear
With nary a quibble, in all good cheer?

Not so easy, my suitoring friend
Where conversation spars: in strike; defend
And verbal blows in interplay
Cut to the quick, and none can say

Truly what is upon the mind
Discordant discourse exchanged in kind
Instead proceeds: serves to frustrate
And understanding lies prostrate

Knock’d to the floor in dazed, stunned state
With chance for commonality and to relate
Struck dumb, become numb,
Retreats.. and shied away from

What could have been animated conversation
Falls from grace, and animation
Reduced to querulous looks, pursed lips
Each step towards common ground, trips

Wrong footed, confused, convoluted
Where simple exchange, would have suited
Patient, confident, eloquent, simply meant…
Instead of this game of verbal tag, this lingual dissent

Instead of sparring minds and souls
Perhaps we should have just let go
Instead of challenge and frought interplay
Perhaps we should have been allowed to say

I like you, I’d want you, if you could see
I’m not a challenge, nor mystery
Just flesh and woman, with heart and spirit
With as much love to give as any human inherent

Of the gift of intelligence, and free thinking speech
Could be, could hope, could only beseech
Acceptance not upon what you wanted me to be
But upon what I am: Athene’s thinking, femininity.

Just Good Friends…

“And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, ”I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?”

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

What exactly, constitutes ‘friendship’?

What are the perimeters.. the requirements of what makes you accept someone as closer than just.. ’someone you happen to know’…

I guess, that is very much a personal issue – each person has their own ‘requirements’ – their own reasons for calling someone a ‘friend’.

For me, personally, a friend is someone, who has common ground with you, a person that can be supportive, who can interchange ideas frankly, and perhaps, is able to express opinions that are of a more personal nature. Someone who can help, understand, and not judge, yet perceive… honestly.

But what happens when an ‘acquaintance’ steps into the fray and begins to act in this manner – whilst you haven’t actually accepted them into the ‘inner circle’ of ‘friendship’? What then? Is it an invasion of space? Do you accept them into that inner space automatically and see what happens? Or do you fight your corner?

I think the key here, is consensus. If you are comfortable in their company, you appreciate their opinion, even if it differs from your own.. then that is friendship.

If someone – an ‘acquaintance’, outwith that ‘inner circle’, forces their way in and tries to push an opinion, a set of thoughts, and, more importantly, a set of demands without consent… then perhaps this could be construed as some form of social invasion, not consensus. Not friendship.

That happened this evening, and quite frankly I felt like lamping said person on the nose. I won’t go into details.. but it’s left me in a bit of a snit.

I don’t know about you people, but for me, friendship is a selfless thing – it’s about a mutual 50-50 exchange of ideas and support. If it goes on a balance of 60%-40%.. 70%-30%… 80%-20%…take to give – then BAM… fuck that – its no longer mutual. It needs to be mutual. If it goes into constant take and demand .. or conversely.. ignorance and refusal, then the friendship is most definitely on it’s way out.

Friendship should be about sharing ideas, experiences, humour, fun, learning, emotion, ideas, support…. if that declines… well… I guess we’ve all been there.

I think, really, this little rant is all about the fragility of friendship or, the potentiality of friendship – and the fact that it has to be worked at: a lot. If you ignore it, if you let it atrophy like a plant in darkness, without water.. if you forcefeed it nothing but artificial light and expectation.. it will fail.

Friendship is precious. Nurture it – it’s a valuable thing.

You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what’s a life, anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die. A spider’s life can’t help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little of that. ~ Charlotte, “Charlotte’s Web”