Personality is a complex thing: we show different parts of ourselves and our varying tastes according to who we interact with. Perhaps I could liken it to being a many sided jigsaw piece – and when we interact with someone, some of our sides fit, and some don’t. For instance, if you have a love of genteel 1980’s folk rock and share that with one person – but you also have a lust for strong industrial electronic music too and share that with another person. You might adore sharing political chat over vintage wine in a posh wine bar, but equally with others you love sharing a pint of real ale discussing the merits of how your favourite football team managed to lose three straight games in a row.
What I find interesting is when our friends and acquaintances from different social and working scenes meet for the first time and interact. They may not ‘hit it off’ – conversely, they may get on famously well. I guess it’s how many common factors, personally, you share with these people. At times it is a revelation that they know the ’same’ person, because their knowledge and understanding of ‘you’ as a person, is different: ‘you’ have shown them different aspects of yourself, according to how well you fit with them and their personality and social aspects. Could this really be the same person they are discussing?
Some people might claim they are the same with everyone they meet, but I really think if you scratch the surface, you will see the undercurrents flowing – the different lusts and desires and wishes and wants and hates all tumbling along like debris in a fast flowing river. Even the most staid looking of people will have a number of secret passions. It is these desires or dislikes that shape our interactions with others. It just depends on what they like or dislike, and how well you fit: like your little jigsaw pieces.
But what I do enjoy, and find quite wonderful, is seeing others seeing ‘oneself’ in a different light – because that becomes growth in the relationship: a deeper understanding of a person’s dynamics – gaining a fuller, more whole picture and understanding of who and what it means to have a complex and diverse personality. It is also a dawning realisation that understanding a person in their entirety takes a long time and an openness to changing perception: I am ever happy to see a new side to people I have long known.
I’m pleased to make your acquaintance: again.
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